depression... or not?
I have a lot of thoughts in my mind... Plan's that are just stuck in my head but I don't know how to start. I think everything is falling apart.
Every day I have the feeling of being alone and being left alone. I have this perspective in life that everyone will leave you. Especially when it comes to peers. I told myself to guard everything that I have and don't give in too much temptation when it comes to friendship.
I always have this perspective that if you treat someone the way you treat them, they would treat you the same way. But guess what?! It doesn't actually come true. I have been a good friend to almost everyone that I became close with. I was loyal and everything. After all that, they just left like nothing happened and acted like were not friends anymore. I got left behind for a year, I looked stupid for a year, because of all the wrong choices I have made in my life. I shut people out of my life or stay away from people who wants to be friends with but I don't want to be plastic with them so its better if I just ignore them and let them be.
Being a true and LOYAL friend is hard. Especially, when its one sided or its just that the other is busy and has a boyfriend or something. I actually hate friendships that end just because you have a boyfriend, like cut the crap, can't we still hangout or talk? like all of the sudden she just talks to you when her boyfriend is not around. I am thankful I have on boyfriend at the moment. I just don't get the idea of having a boyfriend making him the center of everything... that's just how I see it and I hate it. We could still be friends but could you just please put that phone away and shove it somewhere that is not here, and please stop typing when you're with someone unless its your mom or dad or some relative. It's kind of rude you know?
It's hard to maintain a good friendship when you know that no matter what you do, It'l just fail like it always does. I am not a firm believer that everything will be back to normal after one situation, somehow we lose some and gain some.
Every day I have the feeling of being alone and being left alone. I have this perspective in life that everyone will leave you. Especially when it comes to peers. I told myself to guard everything that I have and don't give in too much temptation when it comes to friendship.
I always have this perspective that if you treat someone the way you treat them, they would treat you the same way. But guess what?! It doesn't actually come true. I have been a good friend to almost everyone that I became close with. I was loyal and everything. After all that, they just left like nothing happened and acted like were not friends anymore. I got left behind for a year, I looked stupid for a year, because of all the wrong choices I have made in my life. I shut people out of my life or stay away from people who wants to be friends with but I don't want to be plastic with them so its better if I just ignore them and let them be.
Being a true and LOYAL friend is hard. Especially, when its one sided or its just that the other is busy and has a boyfriend or something. I actually hate friendships that end just because you have a boyfriend, like cut the crap, can't we still hangout or talk? like all of the sudden she just talks to you when her boyfriend is not around. I am thankful I have on boyfriend at the moment. I just don't get the idea of having a boyfriend making him the center of everything... that's just how I see it and I hate it. We could still be friends but could you just please put that phone away and shove it somewhere that is not here, and please stop typing when you're with someone unless its your mom or dad or some relative. It's kind of rude you know?
It's hard to maintain a good friendship when you know that no matter what you do, It'l just fail like it always does. I am not a firm believer that everything will be back to normal after one situation, somehow we lose some and gain some.
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