I am not okay.

I am not the smartest girl in class, nor the prettiest one, and definitely not the popular one.

I was the loser, the fat noisy bitch who does things crazy and makes herself look weird and awkward. I hate myself. I don't like being dumb, I just wish that someday I could be the smart one, the one who doesn't need to be scared of grades because I don't get the lessons or just because my teacher is gay and is far more interested with boys than girls. 

I hate school, I used to love it but my senior year sucks. I will be praying and hoping that I could graduate because I don't like to disappoint my parents, going to try my best in getting good grades in hopes that my math teacher would give me an 80 for the last grading. Gosh, I hate him. 

My life is miserable, why do people who cheat pass and well get out without getting punished or something. I sometimes wish that I was the skinny, pretty, and smart one who has no academic problems but friend problems or something. Life is so complicated. I hate this. I feel like giving up. Like, I am loosing faith, I think I just lost my self confidence and finally accepted the fact that I am dumb, stupid and well, never be good at math. But, hopefully I could be fine. Seriously. I am not okay.