it never existed.
I am in no state of mind to write such a beautiful entry today. But, I am having some emotional break down.
Life is like a mirror, it will show you all the beauty in life, but in the end its just an illusion and you need to wake up and face reality that just like that mirror your dreams and aspirations can be crushed/destroyed with just a simple crack and everything will fall.
Everything happens for a reason. I believe that. I am a firm believer that all of us should be cautious and believe that we should learn from the past and do better next time.
Looking for a true friend. That, I find hard. Looking for someone who will always be there for you is hard. Like... especially when your friend always has her phone with her and texts all the time. Gah! That is just so annoying and pissing at the same time. I have failed a thousand times and hated every second of it... for being such a loser friend. I feel bad just leaving them, but then I think of what will happen if I do come with them, They go home early and well I can't go outside yet. It's a matter of life and choice. I never had that someone who would always stick by my side no matter what. I am alone. I was born alone and will always be. If God thinks that I should be single and well, happy by myself I respect whatever decision He has for me in the near future of my life.
College, I don't know what will happen there. But, hopefully I find that friend who would always stick for me no matter what happens. I would love to have connections with my old friends but I really suck at conversations. I really don't know why. I always destroy my relationship towards other people and I am so sorry for doing that. I hate myself for doing it.
I HATE MYSELF.
Life is like a mirror, it will show you all the beauty in life, but in the end its just an illusion and you need to wake up and face reality that just like that mirror your dreams and aspirations can be crushed/destroyed with just a simple crack and everything will fall.
Everything happens for a reason. I believe that. I am a firm believer that all of us should be cautious and believe that we should learn from the past and do better next time.
Looking for a true friend. That, I find hard. Looking for someone who will always be there for you is hard. Like... especially when your friend always has her phone with her and texts all the time. Gah! That is just so annoying and pissing at the same time. I have failed a thousand times and hated every second of it... for being such a loser friend. I feel bad just leaving them, but then I think of what will happen if I do come with them, They go home early and well I can't go outside yet. It's a matter of life and choice. I never had that someone who would always stick by my side no matter what. I am alone. I was born alone and will always be. If God thinks that I should be single and well, happy by myself I respect whatever decision He has for me in the near future of my life.
College, I don't know what will happen there. But, hopefully I find that friend who would always stick for me no matter what happens. I would love to have connections with my old friends but I really suck at conversations. I really don't know why. I always destroy my relationship towards other people and I am so sorry for doing that. I hate myself for doing it.
I HATE MYSELF.
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