WTF is this
Okay, just to give you an overview, while typing this article? I am listening to Tori Kelly's Dear No One.
Anyway, I was scrawling through facebook and somehow I passed by this girl who is the current girlfriend of the person I used to have a crush on and I'm just looking at her and like... She's so pretty. I just realize that she's so pretty that I am not even that pretty. Like, I am not in the line of pretty. I'm so fat sometimes I just want to burn my self to loose the extra weight. I don't know. I have loosed my confidence when I got fat and all that. Then I had this conversation with my aunt that I remembered just because I saw the picture of the girl. I remember her asking me "Did you have a boyfriend?" and I honestly said NO. And she thought I was kidding but I am not. I really don't have any boyfriends or ex boyfriends and the fact that I study in an exclusive school for girls makes me more boyfriend less because DUH no boys.
I mean, I know that the dude that I used to have crush on is just well, someone who is happy now and he is having the time of his life in college with a gorgeous girlfriend and here I am having fun eating pizza and getting fat but frustrated about it but eats anyway. I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all have that moments in our life where we think of the future and be like "Why don't I have a boyfriend?" or "Why am I not pretty?" kind of questions. And I am feeling that right now just looking at the girls photo reminds me of him and I even see it on twitter and I don't know why I am bothered maybe because I don't like to be reminded that I was in pain and whenever I see his face it reminds me of pain, hatred and stupidity. I hate the constant reminder of love life, because it leads back to him and I hate it. He was the last guy that I fell for and I fucking fell hard for him and I'm here now trying to tell myself that you are just in love with the idea of him. The dude that was him way back freshmen year in high school but throughout the years you know that he has changed a lot and that he is happy with his relationship and he doesn't give a fuck about you and that you should do the fucking same. I think I really should do that. I am going to eat my own words. UGH
Anyway, I was scrawling through facebook and somehow I passed by this girl who is the current girlfriend of the person I used to have a crush on and I'm just looking at her and like... She's so pretty. I just realize that she's so pretty that I am not even that pretty. Like, I am not in the line of pretty. I'm so fat sometimes I just want to burn my self to loose the extra weight. I don't know. I have loosed my confidence when I got fat and all that. Then I had this conversation with my aunt that I remembered just because I saw the picture of the girl. I remember her asking me "Did you have a boyfriend?" and I honestly said NO. And she thought I was kidding but I am not. I really don't have any boyfriends or ex boyfriends and the fact that I study in an exclusive school for girls makes me more boyfriend less because DUH no boys.
I mean, I know that the dude that I used to have crush on is just well, someone who is happy now and he is having the time of his life in college with a gorgeous girlfriend and here I am having fun eating pizza and getting fat but frustrated about it but eats anyway. I don't know. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all have that moments in our life where we think of the future and be like "Why don't I have a boyfriend?" or "Why am I not pretty?" kind of questions. And I am feeling that right now just looking at the girls photo reminds me of him and I even see it on twitter and I don't know why I am bothered maybe because I don't like to be reminded that I was in pain and whenever I see his face it reminds me of pain, hatred and stupidity. I hate the constant reminder of love life, because it leads back to him and I hate it. He was the last guy that I fell for and I fucking fell hard for him and I'm here now trying to tell myself that you are just in love with the idea of him. The dude that was him way back freshmen year in high school but throughout the years you know that he has changed a lot and that he is happy with his relationship and he doesn't give a fuck about you and that you should do the fucking same. I think I really should do that. I am going to eat my own words. UGH
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