another entry...

Hey, it's been a while... I have not been here for a hot minute. 

Honestly, I just either blog or journal my feelings out whenever something is bothering me. 

Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

I don't know. I try to be as vague as possible whenever I post anything online, since most of my rants are purely spur of the moment and I just need to let it out through typing or something...

Sometimes details would be given out, but not to the extent that you can search for those people I am talking about. 

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Anyway, the first time I travelled outside of the country was with one of my college friends. She is not really my blockmate; we just met through a summer class before freshman year. 

And around next month we'll be going to travel out of the country again, and to be honest. I don't feel like going anymore. Not that I am mad or anything. It's just that my energy is not there at the moment. I am not even checking the group chat because whatever they say will go. I don't actually feel excited about going there. 

I would like to be excluded from conversations involving other people for my peace of mind. I don't want to care anymore. Thus, I have placed the group chat on mute. 

I am too tired to care and too old to fight for anything. I am excited for the vacation, but the people I am going to be with are not as fun as I think they will be. 

I don't know, I just felt that I was not good enough to be traveling with them. 

Or maybe it's because there is this awkward space between me and my friend's boyfriend, haha! 

And also the other person we are going with.  Shocks, I really would like to unwind on my own. It would be so much fun! I don't like bothering other people anyway. 

I am feeling a bit sleepy. I just need to let this out, or else I might explode. 

I think that's all I have to say. I have no energy whatsoever. I just don't want to entertain anything related to it as of the moment. 

Thank you!